The 130-Storey Treehouse Read online

  About The 117-Storey Treehouse

  Andy and Terry have added 13 new levels to their treehouse and now it’s even more out of this world than before! There’s a soap bubble blaster, a GRABINATOR (it can grab anything from anywhere at any time), a time-wasting level, a toilet paper factory (because you can never have too much toilet paper), a super long legs level, an extraterrestrial observation centre and the best bookshop-in-a-treehouse-in-a-tree-in-a-forest-in-a-book in the whole world!

  Well, what are you waiting for? Come on up!

  ANDY GRIFFITHS

  The 130-STOREY

  TREEHOUSE

  ILLUSTRATED BY

  TERRY DENTON

  CONTENTS

  CHAPTER 1 The 130-Storey Treehouse

  CHAPTER 2 Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!

  CHAPTER 3 Fire!

  CHAPTER 4 Goodbye, Earth

  CHAPTER 5 Eyeballia

  CHAPTER 6 Intergalactic Death Battle

  CHAPTER 7 Intergalactic Hot Ice-cream Party

  CHAPTER 8 Stowaway!

  CHAPTER 9 Flaming Eyeballs

  CHAPTER 10 Blobdromeda

  CHAPTER 11 Mud, Glorious Mud!

  CHAPTER 12 Return of the Fly

  CHAPTER 13 The Last Chapter

  CHAPTER 1

  THE 130-STOREY TREEHOUSE

  Hi, my name is Andy.

  This is my friend Terry.

  We live in a tree.

  Well, when I say ‘tree’, I mean treehouse. And when I say ‘treehouse’, I don’t just mean any old treehouse—I mean a 130-storey treehouse. (It used to be a 117-storey treehouse, but we’ve added another 13 storeys.)

  So what are you waiting for? Come on up!

  We’ve got a soap bubble blaster,

  a non-stop dot level,

  a 13-storey igloo,

  the GRABINATOR (it can grab anything from anywhere at any time),

  an extraterrestrial observation centre,

  a time-wasting level,

  a toilet paper factory (because you can never have too much toilet paper),

  a giant juggling octopus,

  a soft grassy hill, perfect for rolling down,

  a super long legs level,

  a TFB (that’s short for treehouse fire brigade),

  a people-eating plant called Petal,

  and the best bookshop-in-a-treehouse-in-a-tree-in-a-forest-in-a-book in the whole world!

  As well as being our home, the treehouse is where we make books together. I write the words and Terry draws the pictures.

  As you can see, we’ve been doing this for quite a while now.

  Things don’t always go to plan, of course …

  but we always get our book done in the end.

  CHAPTER 2

  BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

  If you’re like most of our readers, you’re probably wondering if we’ve ever been abducted by a giant flying eyeball from outer space. Well, it’s funny you should be wondering that, because that’s exactly what happened to us just the other day!

  It all started when I was in the extraterrestrial observation centre. I was looking through the telescope trying to spot something that might give me an idea of what to write about in our next book when I came across the strangest-looking alien I’d ever seen!

  It had a hairy body with six legs, two wings and a weird trumpet thing sticking out the front of its face.

  It was making a buzzing sound, kind of like a fly. Which wasn’t surprising, really, because after a while I realised that’s what it was—a fly, just an ordinary fly.

  ‘Hey, get off my telescope!’ I yelled. It did, but then it started buzzing around and around my head. At that moment I realised that this was no ordinary fly—this was a really annoying fly.

  In the end I had no choice but to go and get …

  THE SWATTER!

  I swiped …

  and swiped …

  and swiped …

  and swiped …

  and swiped …

  and swiped …

  but it was no use. I couldn’t swat it. That fly was not only really annoying, it was also really fast! I needed something bigger. So I went and got …

  THE SUPER-SWATTER!

  I super-swiped …

  and super-swiped …

  and super-swiped again!

  But no matter how much super-swiping I did, I still couldn’t swat that fly.

  So I went and got …

  THE SUPER-SIZED FLYSPRAY!

  I super-sprayed …

  and super-sprayed …

  and super-sprayed!

  I used up the whole can, but the fly was just as alive—and just as annoying—as ever! (I, on the other hand, was not feeling so great.)

  I had to get rid of that fly once and for all. It was time to unleash …

  THE FLY CANNON!

  I had it lined up perfectly. I couldn’t miss.

  READY …

  AIM …

  FIRE!

  Like I said, I couldn’t miss. But guess what? I did! When the smoke cleared, there it was: that fly! That REALLY ANNOYING fly.

  CHAPTER 3

  FIRE!

  ‘Hi, Andy,’ said Terry. ‘What’s the matter?’

  ‘That fly!’ I said. ‘That’s what! I’m trying to get ideas for the next book but I can’t because it keeps buzzing around my head and distracting me.’

  ‘Have you tried swatting it?’ said Terry.

  ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Of course I’ve tried swatting it!’

  ‘Have you tried super-swatting it?’

  ‘Yes!’

  ‘What about spraying it?’

  ‘YES!’ I said. ‘I’ve tried everything, even blasting it with the fly cannon—but it didn’t work. Nothing worked!’

  ‘Maybe I can help,’ said Terry. ‘I could use my laser eyes!’

  ‘Since when do you have laser eyes?’ I said.

  ‘Since this morning—when I invented them,’ he said. ‘Look, I’ll show you.’

  Terry took a deep breath, focused on the fly and shot laser beams at it—right out of his eyes!

  The fly darted out of the way.

  Terry took another deep breath and fired again …

  and again …

  and again …

  and again.

  Terry’s laser beams were hitting everything—except for the fly, that is—and everything they hit burst into flames.

  ‘Terry!’ I yelled. ‘Stop! You’re setting the treehouse on fire!’

  ‘Oops,’ said Terry.

  I grabbed an emergency bucket, filled it with water and threw it on one of the fires.

  ‘Don’t just stand there!’ I said to Terry. ‘Get a bucket and help me!’

  Terry grabbed the other emergency bucket and filled it with water.

  ‘Oh no!’ he said. ‘It’s leaking. There’s a hole in my bucket!’

  ‘Then fix it!’ I said.

  ‘Hey, that reminds me of a song!’ said Terry.

  Before I knew it, I was singing, too. (It’s a pretty catchy song.)

  Suddenly, Jill came rushing in. ‘FIRE! FIRE!’ she yelled. ‘Your treehouse is on fire!’

  ‘We know!’ I said.

  ‘Then why are you just standing around singing? Why aren’t you putting it out?’

  ‘Oh, for goodness sake!’ said Jill. ‘There’s a much faster way to put out fires than by singing songs about buckets!’

  She grabbed an emergency hammer and smashed the glass on our fire alarm.

  The siren wailed and, within moments, the treehouse fire brigade rushed in and got straight to work.

  The Trunkinator was blasting water in all directions so fast it looked like he had three heads. (He didn’t really have three heads, although I s
ort of wish he did: a three-headed elephant would be really cool!)

  In no time at all, thanks to the brave firefighting crew, the fire was out and the tree was saved.

  ‘Thank goodness for the treehouse fire brigade!’ said Terry.

  ‘And thank goodness for me,’ said Jill. ‘If I hadn’t come along when I did you’d both still be singing that silly song while the treehouse burned down around you. Why was the treehouse on fire, anyway?’

  ‘It was Terry’s fault,’ I said. ‘He did it with his new laser eyes.’

  ‘Laser eyes?’ said Jill.

  ‘Yeah,’ said Terry. ‘I have laser eyes. I can show you if you like.’

  ‘NO, TERRY!’ I said. ‘They’re too dangerous.’

  ‘But what about the fly?’ said Terry.

  ‘What fly?’ said Jill.

  ‘That really annoying one,’ I said. ‘It’s driving me mad. I’ve tried swatting it, super-swatting it, super-spraying it and blasting it with the fly cannon, but it’s no use. It won’t die!’

  ‘That poor fly,’ said Jill.

  ‘You mean that annoying fly,’ I said.

  ‘Buzz!’ buzzed the fly from the branch just above my head.

  ‘Nobody move,’ I whispered. ‘I have a plan.’

  ‘You’re not going to hurt it, are you?’ said Jill.

  ‘No chance of that,’ I said. ‘I can’t hurt it. That fly is indestructible. I’m just going to give it a little holiday …

  in my luxurious, super-modern, high-security fly hotel!’

  ‘Andy!’ said Jill. ‘That’s not a fly hotel—it’s a bug catcher. Let it out right now!’

  ‘No way,’ I said.

  ‘But it’s cruel,’ said Jill. ‘How would you like it if somebody trapped you in a bug catcher?’

  ‘Well,’ I said, ‘I don’t suppose I would like it—but as if that’s going to happen!’

  And then guess what? It did happen—well, something pretty similar to being trapped in a bug catcher, anyway. Suddenly, we found ourselves and our tree encased in a gigantic clear dome!

  ‘Did you order a tree dome, Terry?’ I said.

  ‘No,’ he said. ‘Did you?’

  ‘Not that I recall,’ I said.

  ‘Then where did it come from?’ said Terry.

  ‘I think it might have something to do with that UFE up there,’ said Jill.

  ‘Don’t you mean UFO?’ I said.

  ‘No,’ said Jill, pointing at a large oval object hovering above the tree. ‘Look! It’s definitely a UFE—an unidentified flying eyeball.’

  ‘Wow!’ said Terry. ‘A giant flying eyeball! That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!’

  CHAPTER 4

  GOODBYE, EARTH

  We stared up at the giant flying eyeball. It stared back down at us. Then the whole tree began to tremble and shake and rise up into the air.

  ‘I didn’t know our tree could fly,’ said Terry.

  ‘I don’t think the tree is flying,’ said Jill. ‘I think the UFE is lifting it up! We’re being abducted by a giant flying eyeball!’

  ‘Yay!’ said Terry. ‘We’re going on an intergalactic space adventure! I love intergalactic space adventures!’

  ‘Me too!’ I said. ‘And just think of all the ideas we’ll get for our next book!’

  The higher we got, the faster we went, and, in what felt like no time at all, we had left Earth’s atmosphere and entered outer space.

  THE DAY WE WERE ABDUCTED BY A GIANT FLYING EYEBALL AND TAKEN ON A CRAZY RIDE THROUGH SPACE.

  We were on the outer edge of the solar system when the 3D video phone rang.

  I pushed the button to answer it. It was Mr Big Nose, our publisher. His big nose filled the screen.

  ‘What took you so long to answer the phone?’ he yelled. ‘Where were you?’

  ‘We’re in space,’ I said. ‘We just passed Uranus.’

  ‘Are you trying to be funny?’ said Mr Big Nose. ‘I’m a busy man, you know. I don’t have time for jokes!’

  ‘No, it’s not a joke,’ I said. ‘It’s true! We really are in space.’

  ‘What are you doing out there?’ he shouted. ‘You’re supposed to be writing a book, remember?’

  ‘I do remember,’ I said, ‘and I was trying to get ideas for it, but I couldn’t because this really annoying fly was really annoying me, and then we got abducted by a giant flying eyeball!’

  ‘A likely story!’ said Mr Big Nose. ‘But even if it were true, it’s no excuse. Your book is due at five o’clock on Friday! And it had better be good. In fact, it had better be better than good—it had better be out of this world!’

  ‘I think we can safely promise you that,’ I said.

  ‘What?’ said Mr Big Nose. ‘I can’t see or h—you very well. You’re br—king up.’

  ‘You’re breaking up, too,’ I said.

  ‘I’ll br—k you up if — don’t get your — to — on time!’ yelled Mr Big Nose, and then the screen went blank.

  ‘Goodbye, Mr Big Nose,’ said Terry.

  ‘Goodbye, solar system,’ said Jill.

  ‘What will we do now?’ said Terry.

  ‘Let’s get started on the book,’ I said. ‘I’ve got a great idea for the beginning. Get this … I’m chasing a fly around, and then you come along and try to help but you set the treehouse on fire, and then Jill calls the treehouse fire brigade and then we—and our whole tree—get abducted by a giant flying eyeball!’

  ‘Wow!’ said Terry. ‘I love it! Action-packed! What happens next? Where does the eyeball take us?’

  ‘Well, I’m not too sure,’ I said, ‘because it hasn’t happened yet. But I think we travel for a long time.’

  ‘A long time?’ said Terry. ‘How long?’

  ‘Not too long,’ I said. ‘And, um … it actually feels really short because we … we … we go to the time-wasting level and waste lots and lots of time, and soon all the time is wasted and we are there. Come on, let’s go—there’s no time to waste.’*

  *Actually, as it turned out, there was … quite a lot, actually.

  We began wasting time immediately. We started by tearing paper up into millions of tiny pieces and throwing them around to make snowstorms.

  Then, when there was no more paper left, we decided to pop some bubble wrap. We must have popped at least ten million bubbles each!

  After that, we made silly noises. We made every silly noise we could think of … and some that nobody had ever thought of!

  And I don’t how much time we wasted doing online personality quizzes (but it was a LOT!).

  After all that time-wasting we were feeling quite tired … and we’d only wasted one hour! So we decided to sit on the couch and watch Elephant on a Bicycle.

  We had a lot of trouble choosing an episode, though, because they’re all so good—I mean, look at them! Which one would you have chosen?

  Obviously, it was impossible to choose just one, so we ended up watching the entire series in order from the first episode to the very last!

  ‘Gee, we sure have wasted a lot of time,’ said Terry when it was finished.

  ‘Yes,’ said Jill. ‘I wonder if we’re there yet.’

  ‘Where?’ I said.

  ‘Wherever it is we’re going,’ said Jill.

  ‘There’s a planet out there that looks just like a giant eyeball,’ said Terry. ‘Maybe that’s where we’re going.’

  As it turned out, that’s exactly where we were going.

  ‘Hold tight, everyone,’ said Jill. ‘We’re going in.’

  CHAPTER 5

  EYEBALLIA

  We must have all blacked out for a while because the next thing we knew we were all lying on the ground beside our tree. We got up and looked around. That’s when we realised we were being watched by …

  MILLIONS OF EYEBALLS!!

  I don’t know if you’ve ever been stared at by millions of eyeballs, but if you have, I think you’d agree that it’s a pretty creepy feeling.

  ‘Why are they
staring at us?’ said Terry.