Pencil of Doom! Page 9

‘Poor Ponyboy,’ said Penny, patting Jack’s head as if he were a horse.

  Jack pulled his head away and gave her a dirty look. ‘Quit it!’ he said.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ said Gina. ‘Don’t you want to play ponies anymore?’

  ‘No!’ said Jack, looking horrified. ‘As if!’

  Gina and Penny looked at each other sadly.

  Fred and Clive smirked.

  And then I saw something amazing.

  Something I could hardly believe.

  I saw the pencil lying on the carpet.

  Only it wasn’t a pencil anymore.

  It was just a pile of crushed splinters and broken lead. It had been completely shattered by the weight of the falling bookshelf. There wasn’t much left of the eraser either—just little crumbly bits of white rubber.

  ‘Look,’ I said to the others, breathlessly. ‘Look at the pencil!’

  ‘What pencil?’ said Newton. ‘There’s nothing there but splinters!’

  ‘That’s my point exactly!’ I said. ‘That’s the pencil! It’s been completely crushed!’

  ‘Really?’ said Newton, open-mouthed and wide-eyed.

  ‘Really,’ I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. ‘It couldn’t be buried, disposed of, crushed or compacted, but it was powerless against itself. You can stop worrying, Newton. The nightmare is over.’

  ‘I’ll never stop worrying,’ said Newton, smiling weakly. ‘But at least I have one less thing to worry about.’

  ‘The poor pencil,’ said Jenny, blinking back tears. ‘I feel kind of sorry for it. If only it could have used its power for good instead of evil.’

  ‘The only good thing about that pencil is that it’s gone!’ said Gretel.

  ‘You mean ruined!’ moaned Jack. ‘That pencil was not evil. It was the best pencil ever. And now it’s wrecked!’

  ‘Yeah, ’ I said. ‘It drew its own doom.’

  ‘I can’t believe you guys!’ yelled Jack. ‘When are you going to get it through your thick heads? It was not a magic pencil! All that stuff that happened—including this—was just bad luck! Coincidence, that’s all! Just a BIG FAT CO——’

  ‘SHUSH!’ yelled Mr Shush. ‘STOP YELLING THIS INSTANT! MAY I REMIND YOU THAT THIS IS A LIBRARY!’

  66

  Mr Brainfright’s magic hat

  The following morning, Mr Brainfright came into class dressed in a top hat and tails and carrying a shiny black cane.

  ‘Okay, everyone, please take your seats,’ he said. ‘The show is about to begin.’

  We all rushed to our seats.

  The bell rang.

  Mr Brainfright took off his tall black top hat and sat it upside down on his desk. Then he tapped the brim of the hat twice with his cane and said, ‘Abracadabra’.

  Then he reached into the hat and pulled out a fluffy white rabbit. A real, live fluffy white rabbit.

  ‘Oh it’s so cute!’ said Jenny.

  We all applauded.

  Mr Brainfright put the rabbit back in the hat, tapped the brim twice again and turned the hat right side up. The rabbit was gone.

  ‘Oh,’ said Jenny, ‘bring it back! Pleeeeeease!’

  Mr Brainfright put the hat back on the desk, upside down, said ‘Abracadabra!’ as he tapped the brim with his cane, and pulled the rabbit out once more.

  ‘What’s the matter, Newton?’ asked Jenny.

  I looked over. As usual, Newton was looking pale and wide-eyed.

  ‘I’m scared of magic rabbits,’ he said.

  ‘There’s no need to be frightened,’ Mr Brainfright assured him. ‘The rabbit is not magic. I am simply demonstrating what is known as sleight of hand. It’s a perfectly ordinary rabbit, I assure you.’

  ‘It’s not ordinary,’ said Jenny. ‘It’s adorable. Can I hold it, Mr Brainfright, please?’

  ‘Of course,’ he said, taking it over to her desk and putting it into her arms.

  ‘See?’ Jenny said to Newton as she cuddled the rabbit. ‘It’s completely cute and harmless.’

  Newton leaned over and patted the rabbit tentatively.

  ‘It’s soft,’ he said.

  ‘Yes, and think of it this way, Newton,’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘It has four rabbit’s feet, so it’s four times as lucky as your one.’

  Newton smiled at this happy thought and patted the rabbit more boldly.

  ‘And speaking of rabbit’s feet, may I use this to demonstrate my next illusion?’ said Mr Brainfright as he picked up Newton’s lucky rabbit’s foot off his desk.

  Newton made a grab for it but was too slow. ‘I’m not sure about this, sir,’ he said. ‘Can’t you use something else?’

  ‘No, this will be perfect,’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘And don’t worry—I’m only going to borrow it for a moment. You’ll get it back.’

  He picked his top hat up off the desk and dropped the rabbit’s foot into it. He said ‘Abracadabra,’ tapped the brim of the hat twice with his shiny black cane and then tipped the hat right side up.

  The rabbit’s foot did not drop out.

  It was gone!

  Everyone in the class clapped—except Newton.

  Then Mr Brainfright tapped his cane twice on the brim of the hat and said ‘Abracadabra’.

  But the foot didn’t come back.

  Mr Brainfright looked very surprised and then confused. He looked into the hat.

  Newton gasped in alarm. ‘My rabbit’s foot,’ he squeaked.

  Mr Brainfright frowned into the hat. ‘Don’t worry, Newton,’ he said. ‘It’s in there. It’s just stuck . . . I think.’

  ‘But what if you can’t find it?’ said Newton. ‘I’ll never have good luck again!’

  ‘Pat the rabbit some more,’ Jenny said to Newton, putting it into his arms. ‘It’s very soothing.’

  Newton stared at Mr Brainfright’s top hat and patted the rabbit automatically.

  He didn’t look soothed.

  Meanwhile, Mr Brainfright just kept tapping his hat with his cane and trying different spells. ‘Abracadabra . . . sim sala bim . . . bibbity bobbity boo . . .’ But still the rabbit’s foot did not appear.

  ‘Perhaps if I put the rabbit back in it might help unstick the foot,’ said Mr Brainfright, reaching for the rabbit.

  Newton hugged it to his chest. ‘No,’ he said. ‘You can’t have it. What if you can’t get it out again?’

  ‘No, don’t make it disappear,’ said Jenny. ‘Let us keep it. Can we have it for a class pet? Please, Mr Brainfright, please?’

  ‘I’m sure it would bring us good luck, sir,’ said Newton. ‘Like you said—it’s got four rabbit’s feet, and that’s four times luckier than one.’

  Mr Brainfright looked down at their pleading faces.

  ‘Well, all right,’ he said finally. ‘We’ll get a hutch for it and it can be the class pet.’

  ‘Thank you, Mr Brainfright,’ said Jenny.

  ‘Can we get a pony as well?’ asked Gina.

  ‘Yes,’ said Penny. ‘Can you make one come out of your hat?’

  ‘No, I think my hat’s finished for the day,’ said Mr Brainfright, peering into it with a puzzled expression on his face.

  ‘Aawwwwww,’ said the twins.

  ‘Sorry,’ said Mr Brainfright, ‘but sometimes these magic hats have a mind of their own.’

  Fiona duly noted this fact down. ‘Will we be tested on this?’ she asked.

  67

  Mr Brainfright’s important lesson no. 5

  Sometimes magic hats have a mind of their own.

  68

  The last chapter

  Well, that’s my story.

  And just in case you’re wondering, it’s all true.

  Every last bit.

  If you’re ever passing through Northwest, and you happen to be passing Northwest Southeast Central School, feel free to drop in.

  We’re pretty easy to find. Our classroom is the first on the left as you go up the steps.

  And our teacher wears a purple jacket.

  But
don’t forget to call in at the office first and sign the visitors’ book.

  And don’t waste time while you’re doing it. As I think I have mentioned, Mrs Rosethorn doesn’t like time wasters.

  Anyway, it would be great to see you, and if you enjoyed that story then don’t worry, I’ve got plenty more!

  And they’re all true.

  Every last one.